Tips by Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah

These are extra tips for all as given by Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah in the seminar

Tatacara makan & minum

• Sebelum tidur, maafkan semua orang tak kira siapa Insya-Allah, Allah lipat gandakan rezeki.
• Sebelum tidur, berdoa, depends on apa yg kita hendak sepanjang tidur, otak akan generate kan all of our wish & Insya-Allah, kita akan work towards it (ada semangat) di keesokan harinya.
• Makan buah sebelum breakfast, lunch & dinner ikut Sunnah & dapat pahala & also boleh rujuk kpd pakar pemakanan, vitamin C dari buah2an yg d ima kan selepas breakfast, lunch & dinner yang akan diperolehi adalah approaching 0%.
• Jangan minum air semasa sedang makan (breakfast,lunch & dinner).
• Minum air selepas 15-30 minit selesai makan.Untuk minum, bagi teguk yg pertama sahaja, biarkan air dlm mulut about 10s then baru telan.
• Teguk kedua & seterusnya boleh minum terus sebab air liur ada enzyme yg boleh membunuh kuman dlm pankreas, perut, & so on yg akan dibawa oleh air tegukan pertama.
• Seelok2nya makan malam sebelum maghrib ikut sunnah (Rasullullah makan sblm maghrib kecuali bulan Ramadhan saja ie masa maghrib), sebab, bagi yang tegah study (or anak2), otak akan berfungsi excellently (senang absorb ilmu) around 2 hrs selepas makan so, if makan at 8:30pm,around 10:30pm baru start study and most probably hanya boleh bertahan hingga jam 12 tegah malam saja, jadi, tak banyak yang boleh dipelajari berbanding kalau makan pukul 6:30 (org Cina take dinner around this hour). Juga, kita tak tidur dalam kekenyangan (yg mana boleh menghindar dari membuat sembahyang malam)

Tatacara di bilik air

• Selepas buang air kecil, berdehem 3x (teran sikit) boleh elak daripada dapat batu karang
• Semasa buang air besar, mengiring sedikit ke kiri ikut sunnah sbb bila mengiring ke kiri, perut akan tekan bladder and senang buang air besar

Tatacara didik anak

• Antara tips untuk dapat anak bijak/genius, ajar anak ( baby ) tidur mengiring ke kanan ~ sebab jantung (yg terletak sblh kiri)akan lebih “lapang”/”lega” dan mudah berdegup (perjalanan darah okay) and anak akan develop excellently.
• * Bagi anak2 yang dah azalinya active or hyper-a ct ive, kurang (or jangan) pakaikan baju warna orange sebab warna ini boleh merangsang secara a ct ifnya tindak tanduk anak

Tatacara didik diri sendiri

• Rasullullah (saw) bersabda, sesuatu amalan yg diamalkan sekitar 21-30 hari, continuously, akan menjadi tabiat and kalau tak, ilmu itu akan mati.
• Buang segala rasa hasad dengki, dendam & l ain 2 yg negatif emosi2 ini akan membenarkan otak release excessive adrenaline, cortisone & toxine yg mana boleh membawa kepada beberapa penyakit cepat letih, wajah cepat nampak tua (tua sebelum waktunya), selalu sakit perut & etc
• Ada 3 kategori manusia :-
  1. BERJAYA : Hari ini lebih baik daripada semalam
  2. TERPEDAYA : Hari ini sama seperti semalam
  3. CELAKA : Hari ini lebih teruk daripada semalam
• “Apabila kita kejar dunia, dunia akan lari; tetapi apabila kita kejar akhirat, dunia akan mengejar kita” Just to ambil iktibar untuk mendidik diri & family. Usia dunia sudah terlalu hampir ke penghujungnya, terlalu!
• So, it’s good if we can remind each other because in Rasulullah’s last sermon, baginda pun did mention that all those who listen to him (on that day) shall pass on his words to others, and those to others ag ain ; and may the last ones understand his words better that those who listen to him dire ct ly…

Yang baik datang dari Allah & yang kurang itu is from my weaknesses.

Do impart this knowledge & you’ll lose nothing…

To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married

— got it from email —

To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn’t love her anymore…I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest… I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:

I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank,blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.

Painless Tricks to Keep Your Brain Fit

Painless Tricks to Keep Your Brain Fit by John Fike

1. Play Strategy Games that require you to evaluate, plan and think several moves ahead and subsequently fully engage your brain. eg : Chess, Checkers, Go, Stratego, Risk

2. Engage Your Brain with Word and Number Puzzles – Sudoku, crossword puzzles, word searches and similar puzzles engage your brain in analysis and abstract thinking.

3. Get Out Your High School or College Math Books – Go through the problem sets and practice your numerical skills.

4. Play Scrabble and Boggle – These games require you to conceptualize and see solutions that are not obvious.

5. Learn a New Skill – Learning a skill will fully engages the brain and gives you a new tool to work with.

6. Read Non-Fiction Books – Non-fiction books cause you to analyze and evaluate and give you more information to remember.

7. Discover a New Hobby – Knitting, crochet, painting, drawing, rebuilding automobiles, collecting (anything), cabinet making . . . Any hobby engages the brain creatively and analytically. It’s also a great way to relax and get away from stress, so hobbies serve a dual purpose.

8. Build Something – It could be a plastic model from the store, a piece of furniture or a house. Numerous mental skills, including creativity, are employed when building something.

9. Get Plenty of Sleep – Just as muscles need rest to grow and repair damage from exercise, so does your brain and CNS. Without sleep, your mind gets befuddled and your nerves get frazzled.

10. Do Things with Your Eyes Closed – Most of us take sight for granted. Closing your eyes trains the CNS to rely on other senses and requires the brain to analyze information in a new context.

11. Memorize Something

12. Change Your Routine – Do something out of the ordinary to wake up your mind.

Hidden Benefits of Struggle

I found this article very2 good for me…  

Whether you are your own boss or you work for someone else, you’ve probably faced some ‘rough patches’ from time to time where things didn’t turn out quite like you had expected or you went toe to toe with a challenging problem.

Some were probably minor, others a bit more serious, but if you look carefully, you’ll find that virtually all of them helped you in one unexpected way or another.

Here are some practical tips to help you get the most from difficult experiences. You’ll often find that changing your perspective just a little bit is enough to turn things around.

1) Learning experience
It helps if you view every difficulty and failure as a potential learning experience, even if the ultimate lesson is that you need to start playing to your strengths and trying something else.

2) A difficult situation helps you grow
By problem solving and gaining new knowledge, you strengthen your character and expand your expertise.

3) Be positive
Just because you struggled doesn’t mean that the outcome is always negative. Maintain a positive attitude throughout your situation. This helps you make good decisions and will also keep your stress levels under control.

4) Become stronger
Use each new life experience to better equip yourself for whatever the future holds.

5) Perspective
Sometimes, your ability to handle difficulties is all a matter of perspective. Try to put your situation in perspective by comparing it to things you’ve gone through in the past. Sometimes, it also helps to think of a “worst case scenario”. Realizing how things could have turned out much worse can quickly shift your perspective.

6) Know when to let go
Constant struggle could be a sign that you are using a poor strategy to pursue your goals. Take a step back and see if there is a better, easier, or simpler way to accomplish your objective. Don’t keep banging your head against the wall! Taking this a step further, sometimes you just need to let go of this particular outcome and open yourself up to other possibilities.
This doesn’t mean you need to give up on your ultimate goal, but it may mean that you need to find another way to get there.

Sometimes it’s better to find a way around an obstacle rather than trying to force your way through it.

From : www.goalstoaction.com/blog/41/hidden-benefits-of-struggle