— got it from email —
To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn’t love her anymore…I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest… I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father 
carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:
I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank,blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.
Ahad lepas aku kena food poisoning sampai demam & muntah & cirit birit aku. melepek je atas sofa. rumah lak jadi tunggang langgang. Fahda cakap dia nak jadi nurse. ambik kain basah letak atas kepala aku.
Nak citer sikit pasal Fahda.. Last week dia masuk kelas baru.. Kat sekolah dia ada 2 kelas untuk budak 5 tahun. 1 yg advance kelas A, 1 lg kelas B yg baru belajar ABC 123. Dulu dia kelas B, baru last week masuk kelas A. ada test hari tu..
Alhamdulillah.. Mmg nampak improve lah.. Dah pandai mengeja & membaca sikit2. Huuu seronoknya aku. Malam tadi baca komik Anis. Aku cakap Fahda baca kan untuk Mama.. Dia baca setakat 2 kotak kartun tu aje.. Pastu boring. Ok gak dia baca. tak lancar tp boleh lahhh.. Last2 aku yg citerkan utk dia.. antara perkataan yg dia eja malam tadi >> SERONOKNYA MAIN MASAK-MASAK!!
Pasal kira2 lak dia ok. Kalau tengok nombor 123, sebut in english tau.. Tak denya satu dua tiga.. Boleh baca dr one sampai sixty, kadang2 lompat dr thirty-nine ke fifty… Hehee.. Tp oklaaa dia boleh sebut clearly. Tp pasal tambah tolak tu dia tak berapa faham lagi. Yg aku tengok dia mengingat. One plus one = six..?? Aku nak tune dia balik pun susah sbb dia cakap cikgu cakap mcm tu.. 
Errr.. Smalam fahda ajak aku keluar beli baby… Cam ne nak citer tu..??
hahaaa.. nak cerita kisah lucu aku dan anak kesayanganku Fahda. Semalam si suami keluar sbb ada meeting dgn Committe Model Kapal Terbang kat The Curve Damansara. Itu dah memang wajib dia pergi. tak boleh tidak. So tinggallah kami berdua. selesai habis mengemas, kami plan nak keluar ke Tesco untuk beli barang dapur sikit. Kononnya nak terus lunch kat Tesco jugak walaupun masa tu dah pukul 2 lebih. lagipun breakfast pukul 10 dah makan nasi lemak. Kenyang lagi.
nak jadi cerita by the time kitorang nak keluar rumah tu, terdenga
r suara anak2 jiran depan bising2 depan rumah. rupanya diorang nak keluar jugak ikut ayahnya pergi kedai. So aku pun bagi kunci pada Fahda, suruh bukak pintu grill. errr.. Kunci tu aku letak atas kerusi tepi pintu. Sementara aku pulak kedapur kejap tutup pintu, masukkan air kosong dlm tupperware buat bekal. memang dah jadi habbit keluar mana-mana mesti bawak air so that kalau makan kat luar tak payah order air. Bila dah siap2 semua, aku pun terus keluar dari rumah & lock pintu. Sambil tu borak2 dgn jiran depan. Rumah apartment kann.. selalu sembang dalam grill ajee. dah siap pakai kasut semua, aku tengok pintu grill tak bukak lagi. Fahda pulak tengah panjat2 grill.
“Fahda mana kunci..?” tanya aku. Dia diam.. dah sah. Kalau diam tu ada lah dia buat salahhh.. Alamakk macam mana ni.. kami terperangkap dalam grill!!! nak masuk rumah pun tak boleh, nak keluar rumah pun tak boleh.. aduiii.. jiran depan pun panik.. alamak mcm mana ni.. check dalam bag, mana tahu ada kunci spare ke walaupun dalam hati memang dah tahu tak de.. huh memang tak de. takkan nak suruh babah balik. babah in the meeting kot. cepat2 telefon babah. ape lagi tergelak lerr babah. Babah suruh check dalam kereta dulu, mana tahu ada spare key. so terpaksalah mintak tolong jiran depan turun ke parking, tolong carikan kunci spare dlm kereta. Walaupun aku yakin benar tak de kunci spare dlm kereta (ambik iktibar takut orang selongkar kereta dpt kunci rumah lagi naya..) sian dia.. dah lah berbadan 2. dah 7 bulan aku seksa dia turun naik tangga 2 tingkat untuk cek kunci dalam kereta. huhh.. tak de gak.
Terpaksa aku telefon babah… tolong balik. takkan nak tunggu sampai babah abis meeting. selalu nya kalau involve Committe Model Kapal Terbang niii mesti around 6 baru nak balik.. bengang je babah.. hehe sorry. Last2 dia kena balik jugakk.. Sementara menunggu babah sampai, borak dengan jiran depan yang sudi menemani kami.. Fahda pulak main dgn anak jiran dari dalam grill… adehhh kelakar lak.. nasib baik dia tak hidang kuih ke air kee buat malu aje. Fahda sampai nak mengantuk menunggu.. aku lak siap duduk melunjur kaki kat situ, nasib baik pagi tu dah siap basuh & mop. wangi lagi… hahaaa..
Dalam 45 minit, babah pun sampai dengan muka sengih2 nya.. siap gelakkan kitorang.. keluar je dari grill wahhh.. mcm keluar dari penjara lakk.. kih.. kih… tak lama lepas tu si suami jiran depan lak balik dngn 2 orang anak nyaa.. ape lagi kecoh lah kitorang. tergelak besar.. hehehe.. hari ini dalam sejarah..
moral of the story : sebelum lock pintu pastikan grill sudah dibuka… kalau tidak merasalah duduk dalam penjara di luar pintu rumah sendiri.. wakakakkkk…!!! very careless…
Pagi tadi lepas mandikan fahda dan siap-siapkan dia pakai baju sekolah, sikat rambut, saya pula masuk bilik untuk bersiap. ke hulu ke hilir ambik baju & masuk 2nd room untuk gosok baju pulak. Selesai menggosok, saya jenguk kejap Fahda di ruang tamu. tengah buat ape tu senyap aje.. waaahhhh.. rupanya tengah belajar, buat huruf ‘C’ yang tak habis malam semalam.. Terharunya dirikuuu.. tak kira masa nak belajar & rajin selesaikan kerja2 latihan dalam buku tu.
ohh… baru teringat sedari petang semalam buat huruf C tu, berenti sekejap main, tidur, bangun minum susu sambung balik. lepas tu mandi, sembahyang, makan, sambung balik buat kerja.. walaupun mama ni sibuk tengok TV American Ido David archuleta.. hhehee, Fahda sibuk selesaikan huruf C tu. masa nak tidur lak dia simpan semula buku tadi. sambil borak2 dgn fahda, mama pun baring sekali.. tiba2 mama teringat hp tak charge.. mama bangun keluar jap masuk 2nd room utk charge hp. keluar je dr 2nd room nampak fahda sedang menyambung kerja huruf C tadi.. aduihaii anak mama ni.. sampai baba tegur, fahda pergi tidur, esok boleh sambung. Mama masuk bilik, fahda pun ikut sama..
rajin.. rajin.. nampaknya dia dah memahami C is for what.. bila mama cakap C is for cendawan. lagi C is for what? Fahda pun sebut.. C is for Cacing. C is for chair, C is for cawan.
B is for what.. B is for Bola, B is for Ball, B is for baba..
alhamdulillah..
Ya-Allah kau Mudahkan lah urusan kami, kau terangkan lah hati kami..
Ya-Allah selamatkan lah kami dari Azab api nerakamu.
baru-baru ini seorang officemate ku telah resign within 24 hours. Masing2 tertanya2 kenapa dia resign 24 hours. Pelbagai tekaan dibuat, namun si kawan hanya diam membisu saja, tak de reason katanya. Saja sebab boring. hahh.. semua tercengang. yelah kawan tu dah almost 20 years kerja sini. ada yang meneka dia kena jackpot 1 juta. tak payah kerja lagi.. hehee tu andaian saja.
Tapi kalau sy dapat duit terpijak 1 juta.. ape yg saya buat? Resign 24 hours, lepas tu buat ape? Entahlah… kalau betul sy resign 24 hours semuanya sbb nak balas dendam pada boss di office dan jugak user2 (dan rakan2 office) yang kadang2 memeningkan kepala.. Ramai x-officemate yang dapat resign dr office ini mengibaratkan keluar dr ‘neraka’.
aku nak resign..? kalau sekrg may be sbb aku boring kerja.. sudah masuk 2 hari tp mood tu tak datang2 jugak. malas2.. malas2.. nak kena terjah dgn boss baru nak buat kot.. hmm tak jugak. lg boss marah lagi aku malas.. huahuahuaa… cuma sekrg tak nampak ada peluang untuk belajar & everyday buat benda yang sama saja.
Ya-allah ya Tuhan ku.. jadikanlah hari ini lebih baik dr hari semalam. dan kau ampunilah dosa-dosaku. Amiinn…
Saya pendiam juga.. bukan betul2 pendiam tapi sy jenis tak suka kecoh2, bising2. Apatah lagi environment kerja saya sekarang ni membuatkan saya tidak berapa dikenali dan jugak tidak berapa mengenali orang walaupun dalam satu office.
Tapi hari ni entah kenapa saya berazam tak jadi pendiam. saya meletakkan target untuk menegur seberapa ramai orang yang boleh selain daripada officemate dlm department saya.
Orang pertama yang saya tegur ialah seorang yg tak dikenali sbb dia kerja dalam factory. Malangnya nama dia pun tak tahu.. tp dia sempat menasihati saya supaya jangan makan cendawan goreng di kantin kalau perut tengah lapar. hehee..
Orang ke-2, tokey kantin masa saya nak bayar.. dia jugak pesan.. tengahari ini ada special mee kari + yong tau fu..no doubt me kari nya memang sedap sehingga menjilat jari. tapi maaf ye hari ni tak rasa nak makan me kari laaaah!!
orang ke-3, Kak Nora.. saya berbalas senyum dengan k.Nora tadi & terus duduk sebelah dia masa makan breakfast. dengannya dia ceritakan cara dia menguruskan hari-hari tak kerja. cerewet nyaa k.nora ni! Anyway aku kena ikut cara cerewet dia.. sebab melalui itu lah hidupnya begitu perfect dan smooth saja.
orang ke-4, Faezah.. kami bukan kawan rapat, bukan kawan baik. memang mengenali tapi setakat itu saja. Dia pulak menceritakan kepalanya yang terhantuk pd laci meja..!! bengkak dan terkopek dahinyaa.. kesian pulak..eh.. ehhh baru perasan yang dia telah berbadan 2.. anak ke-3..Congrates.. saya ni bila pula yang ke-2.
itulah 4 orang yang sempat saya bertegur sapa sebelum masuk kerja pukul 8 pagi. lepas pukul 8 pagi.. saya hanya berjumpa dgn budak2 satu department..
hope lepas ni boleh jumpa orang lain pulak dan dengar kisah mereka… huhuhu…
Boring-boring.. masing-masing tak tahu nak buat ape, nak ke mana.
- Duduk rumah.
- Masak pun ala kadar.
- Lipat kain yang menggunung. 3
- tengok movie ‘SAHARA’ (not bad)
- ajar Fahda membaca, alhamdulillah.. dah boleh baca perkataan yang ada A, BA, CA, DA.
Cadang-cadang nak keluar pergi Genting lah, Berjaya Times Square, Zoo.. semuanya tinggal plan & angan saja bila memikirkan kesesakan kat situ. Lagi satu is all about money..!! Sejak menggunakan OD ni kami begitu berkira bila nak keluar duit. Keluar jalan-jalan window shopping pun still kan keluar duit jugak. Kalau tak dulu , every week ke Mid vlley, 1utama, the curve. dah rasa alaaa.. tak jauh lah. walaupun tak de ape-ape nak beli.. memang betul2 window shopping lah kata orang.
Sekarang semuanya kena budget dulu…!!
Hari ni aku begitu konsentretnya membuat kat office ni. Sebab minggu ni cuti 2 hari sahaja.. so aku terpaksa lah bertungkus-lumus menghabiskan kerja. Ada satu kerja yang masih pending, dan tiba2 hari ni dapat satu job baru… nak cari data tu yang aku malas sangat rasanya nak buat. data tahun lepass.. mana nak korekk..
kerja.. kerja..
/wake_up!.gif)
Sejak Fahda masuk kelas tadika ni, saya terpaksa membuat rutin baru. Terutamanya nak ‘adjust’kan diri untuk bangun tidur seawal yang mungkin. Rasa-rasanya dah bangun awal, tapi kadang2 masih terkejar ke sana ke mari..
6 am
- bangun tidur, pergi dapur untuk tekan button pada cerek
– untuk panaskan air agar anakandaku dapat mandi air panas. Maklumlah tak de water heater.. – mandi dan solat Subuh – berdoa agar hari ini lebih baik daripada semalam. Mendoakan semoga Allah bukakan pintu rezeki untuk keluarga sebesar-besarnya. Dan rahmati kehidupan kami dari saat kami membuka mata sehingga lah saat tidur nanti.
6.20 am
- Sediakan air mandian panas untuk Fahda.
- kejutkan hubby dan fahda. Bangunkan Fahda, terus masuk bilik air, mandikan Fahda. Terpaksa lah layan nangis-nangis manja dia. Moodnya tak tentu. Kadang-kadang nak mandi air panas, kadang-kadang tidak, kadang2 nangis, kadang2 ketawa sambil mandi. Saya perhatikan moodnya yang berubah itu kadang kala ikut mood saya pulak. Kalau saya tergesa2, marah kan dia.. mesti nangis. Tapi kalau kita kejutkan dia dalam mood yang happy, rileks.. dia pun boleh rileks jugak. Kadang2 kena buat lawak sikit dgn dia..
cthnya : buat2 jatuh katil – ngadu sakit. Hasilnya Fahda tergelak besar… ataupun buat2 tersalah ambil berus gigi.. nak berus gigi dia, saya ambil berus saya.. mcm2 idea baru kena buat supaya Fahda tak bad mood. Pokok pangkalnya saya jugak kena sentiasa positif, good mood dan bersemangat. Barulah Fahda pun dari pagi hingga ke malam akan ketawa aje..
J Sementara saya mandikan Fahda, hubby bangun buat susu Fahda & tunggu turn nak mandi.
6.45 am
Fahda minum susu sambil tengok MHI. Kalau sempat akan on TV1 untuk rancangan lagu kanak2 – ‘Selamat Pagi adikku’. Semnatara tu saya bersiap… kadang2 Fahda tertidur depan TV.
7.00 am
keluar rumah..
Ringkasnya beginilah rutin saya untuk 1 jam pertama lepas bangun tidur setiap hari kecuali hari cuti. Semoga Allah berikan kekuatan pada saya sekeluarga untuk memperbaiki kehidupan kami.
